Playing Twenty Questions

Tanzanian interactions are characterised by a somewhat extended greeting process that starts with “how are you” and swiftly moves to questions about your family, your health and your home life. Being a somewhat unknown entity, many of my interactions with Tanzanians swiftly move from enquires as to my well being to the following three questions:

1. Are you married? My negative answer often leads to look of puzzlement and a quick glance at my ring finger to check the veracity of my answer. Occasionally, a follow-up question is asked about my age, which often leads to a deepening of the puzzled look.

2. Do you have any children? A swift “no” results in some concern being evinced about my health and advice about the appropriate age for motherhood.

3. With almost all hope gone, the final question is what religion I practice. Telling people that I am a practicing atheist doesn’t seem to carry the same weight, as if I told them I was a practising Christian or Muslim. 90% of the time, my answer leads to a discussion about different religions and the choices people make about spirituality. The other 10% of the time, I get invited to attend church.

My impression is that, by Tanzanian standards, I’m not terribly successful. I briefly considered becoming a born again Christian so I would have at least one positive answer to give, but I’ve put that plan on hold until I have a chance to figure out exactly what that would entail.

The other topic that has come up for discussion on a number of occasions is weight and, more specifically, my weight. This discussion normally occurs, as my colleagues encourage me to eat every grain of the 2 cups of rice that are served with lunch. In Tanzania, the perfect shape for a woman is a well-rounded 8 with an emphasis on the bottom half. This perception of beauty is revealed in the clothes that are tightly stretched over hangers that are suspended from sidewalk trees, dancing in the wind in an effort to catch your attention. The top half of every pair of pants or skirt noticeably balloons out before gradually narrowing. I’ve decided to take my colleagues’ encouragement to eat more with a grain of salt and sweat-drenched visits to the gym.